The Fantasy Family and the Real One: 
Exploring family relational dynamics with neurodivergent clients

This two-hour workshop explores the psychological and relational dynamics of family disappointment — particularly in neurodivergent families, where differences in communication, sensory processing, and emotional regulation can heighten relational stress. The holiday season often brings these patterns into sharp focus, reactivating longings for the “fantasy family” — one that feels safe, attuned, and fully accepting.

For many neurodivergent people, family life involves repeated moments of misattunement. Emotional intensity, sensory overload, or differences in pace can make co-regulation difficult. One person’s “quiet space” might feel like rejection to another; a bid for reassurance might overwhelm a partner or parent already at their limit. These mismatched needs can create painful cycles of shame, frustration, and withdrawal.

Using Transactional Analysis (TA), we’ll explore how injunctions, script beliefs, and ego states underpin these patterns — and how neurodiversity can widen the gap between the fantasy family and the reality of the real one.

The day combines psychotherapeutic reflection and coaching tools. We’ll work with grief and acceptance processes, explore hyper-independence and learned helplessness as protective adaptations, and learn how to balance closeness and distance without guilt. Somatic exercises and role plays will deepen awareness of bodily signals of overwhelm, helping participants identify when to step closer and when to self-regulate or step back.

We’ll also explore practical strategies for emotional co-regulation, including timing, pacing, and empathy attunement across neurotypes.

The workshop concludes with a grief ritual , writing to the “fantasy family” , and an invitation to reclaim the Adult ego state, making conscious choices about connection, distance, and belonging.